How it all began

My first encounter with sexuality was when I was around 10 years old. Back then I did not know what I was doing. I was just rubbing my cock very fast. It was an unconscious gesture until something peaked in me, and it felt like I had to urgently pee. Except that I was not peing. That's how I started to masturbate. Although I did not know what that was back then.

I fell in love for the first time when I was about 12 years old. She was a beautiful blonde girl who was sitting next to me in class. The problem was that I was too shy to speak to any girls. Especially a girl for which I had feelings. And when one of those girls came to speak to me, my face was just turning plain red, revealing my emotions in broad daylight.

So I kept looking at girls from a distance and fantasized about them for the next 5 or 6 years. I loved the way they dressed. I loved to see them wearing tight jeans. I loved to see them walk in boots, or heels. I loved to see them play with their jewelry. At night in bed, I just fantasized so much about them, that I even started to imagine that I was one of them. I tried to imagine what it was like to wear those tight jeans and walk around in boots. While fantasizing I was them, I could put them in any situations. It felt great.
It was also in those years that I started to be strangely aroused by specific images I was encountering in magazines as well as in comic books. All those pictures had some common points. They all were showing women in strange situations. I soon started to badly long to be the women I saw. Maybe at first it was to understand them better, and fear them less. But over time, I unconsciously started to realise that being a woman had to feel great. They had so much stuff they could wear. Pants and skirts and heels. What was it like to wear garter belts and stockings? And what about those knee-high boots I saw prostitutes wearing on television?

My first encounter with pornography was a couple of books with artisitc black and white photos of naked women. One serie was showing two lesbians in action. This material was another inspiration for me. I was hypnotized by the female body. By its sweetness and beauty. I wanted to have breasts!

From then on, when I encountered pornographic material, I always looked at the woman and imagined I was her. So much seemed to happen to them. The guys were just standing around them all, naked, and just penetrating the females. But the girls where first of all nicely dressed, in infinite combinations and had beautiful make up. And they did a multiple sort of things: they were sucking cocks, being fucked, they were ejaculated on, had to swallow and so on... Female sexuality seemed thousand times more interesting than male sexuality, especially for someone like me that was just thinking so much about sex.